Thursday, June 27, 2019

never thought I would say this...


I can picture it so well as if was yesterday, my last day of dreadded finals. Okay, I mean it was only in May, but still, i'm trying to paint a picture for you all. There I was, prancing around FAU's campus with a grin beaming across my face as I was thinking to myself that I'm kissing this place goodbye once and for all! "Bonsoir Boca!" I thought as I galavanted my way to my car. I just took my French final so naturally French was still preoccupying my mind. Orlando here I come! #transferszn.

Flash forward to today, June 27th where I am now OFFICIALLY a resident of none other than the city of Boca Raton, yes you heard me! In August to be exact. I know what you all are probably thinking. "Weren't you so ready to leave that place, I thought you hated it." Especially if you've read my last update. (Which if you haven't you can always catch up here.) Anyways yes, well see it's kind of a funny story I believe, so allow me to explain how I got here. 

If you are an avid reader of the blog, or have known me for some time, it's kinda obvious that I've prided myself as "a very indecisive person." Which, I've learned the hard way, isn't very cute. Since my last update, I was in that "limbo" period of being registered for classes at FAU as my backup plan, while still waiting on receiving an answer from UCF. During the start of summer, my family was down for a week and the whole time during their visit the unsettling feeling of unease from not really being sure of where I'm going to school in the near future was eating me alive, like always. I would bring up the pickle that I found myself in to my friends and to my sister and they would all give me almost the same response back. "Jillian, you have so much going for you in Boca and South Florida, why go to somewhere unknown just to prove to yourself that you can be independent!" Or as my sister bluntly stated "Jillian, you don't even seem excited to be going to Orlando." Greaaaaat. Now what do I do! With these responses hitting at me every which way, I found myself at such a cross road.

I swear, my friends are truly god sent. The advice that they give me are always what I need at the time that I need it the most. Grant said something that really stuck with me. "Sometimes, we tell ourself that we possess this certain quality that ends up harming us from doing big things within our lives, and for you it's constantly telling yourself that you can't make these decisions on what to do because you are indecisive and that is just "who you are." WOW! That hit me hard, a lightbulb flashed within me. THIS IS MY FATAL FLAW! By just classifying myself as "indecisive" and always feeling the need to prove something to others that ultimately, isn't going to make me happy is what I struggle with! I brought it up to my dad about the situation I found myself in, and like every dad, he gave me the most simplest answer, "you need to make a pro's and con's list." I did just that. It went something like this: 


UCF:                                                                                                              FAU:
PROS:                                                                                                           PROS:
*Moving alway                                                                                           *Not to far from home
*?????                                                                                                          *Smaller environment
*Big School?                                                                                               *Near the beach
                                                                                                                     *Get to keep my job
CONS:                                                                                                         *Etc..
*Trying to get into a program that I may or may 
not get into for something in not
 "thrilled" to study and major in
*Largest School in the country
*Where would I live??
*Do I really love the area?
*Landlocked
*Jobless

It was about time to put to rest my toxic mentality of my situation and make it the best it can be! All I know of FAU is just from me going to class all day, driving home, going to work/ internship & that's about it. Also, UCF has yet to confirm the status of my application because they are still "deciding" on my acceptance. If that isn't confirmation that it wasn't meant to be I'm not sure what is! Since being out of high school, I have really missed being involved and the feeling of community that coincides with experiences all that you can from your time on campus. For ONCE I am confident in where I'm going to school and I'm already counting down the days until I move in! With arms open wide I am welcoming this new chapter into my life and I'm beyond excited to start! I hope this kinda closes the loopholes of what has been going, hehe! 











No comments:

Post a Comment

 

Site design by kiki and co.