Thursday, January 6, 2022

end of the *flop* era... start of an age

 



Hellooooooo and a warm welcome to 2022! There is truly something to be said about the collective optimization of striving to just do better than the previous year.  Whether it happens or not, it is a feeling I look forward to each and every New Year. This year, compared to previous years, I was especially happy to see Mr. Ryan Seacrest rockin in the New Year sporting his *alleged* shoe inserts. Don’t come for me Ryan Seacrest stans, haha. Onto a more serious matter, a matter of which as to why I am writing this post, is to address this mess of a year I had in early 2021. It feels kinda silly as I type this to, I guess, “address” the feelings that I faced during this past year because at the end of the day, I am obviously not the President, or a public figure, or even really an influencer or whatever that entails, but I know that I needed to put this out there for anyone who has been following along my micro corner of the internet and can relate. 


To spare you all the minute details, friendships that I thought would last throughout my lifetime crashed and burned into a huge flame.  At the time it obviously consumed me for the worse, way more than I would have liked this “friend-breakup” to consume me.  It was so hard to deal with because these were important people to me and never would I have expected such a thing to happen.


Throughout the year I would constantly replay in my mind what I could’ve said or done differently in order to avoid what had happened. But ultimately it wouldn’t have mattered, it was their way or no way.  How was it so easy for people that were so invested in my life just to get up and run? People that I talked to on the daily suddenly turn into strangers? These intrusive thoughts of what “I” could’ve done differently ultimately lead me to feel very numb to life around me for most of the year. The little things I enjoyed like blogging seemed almost humiliating, and I had a lack of ambition to even try to post things in fear of what these old friends would think. 


It’s so funny now in hindsight to think that I ever felt the way that I did. I've never been one to shrink inside a shell I’d created for myself, but I definitely did that during this previous season in my life. It sounds so childish to have something like a friendship affect your life so much, but it clearly did. If you know me, you know how much I love the girls over at The Morning Toast podcast.   They say this one quote all the time whenever people write in to their “Dear Toasters” advice segment -  “When someone shows you their true colors, you better believe them.” Very slowly and surely I learned this the hard way after so many nights and days of playing back what was said to me in the text messages from these “friends”.  I finally realized that at the end of the day, this happened for a reason and if it wasn’t now it would have happened in the future.


Looking back on 2021,I feel as though I needed to grow from that experience, despite how treacherous it was, in order to succeed in this new chapter of my life. Things happen for a reason and people come in and out of your life for different seasons and even though it may be hard to realize that in the midst of everything, it’s the harsh truth. 


So now you can kind of see why I am just so excited to get a jump on this year!  I have all the toxicity, negativity, and drama all in the past.  Block, delete, do whatever you have to do in a situation to protect your mental health.  I’m not being dramatic, I’m being dead ass serious, do it!  If you're in a toxic relationship with someone and you keep going back to their profile or you keep going back to the text messages, just block them or delete it. It will protect your sanity. I swear to you, you don’t need that nonsense!! 


As for my goals for 2022, I’ve got several exciting things coming up this year. In May, I will finally be graduating college from FAU and I could not be more excited!!  I’m literally smiling as I am typing this right now because I can just imagine myself running on stage at graduation with my bags packed, to where I have no clue. This past November, I started interning at Engel & Völkers which is a luxury real estate firm.   Honestly, I cannot be more in love with what I have been doing there and I really hope to work for the company after graduation.  But where I’ll be living,  I have no clue. Definitely would like to get out of South Florida, maybe just put up a map of the US and blindly pick a destination.  But you know me, preferably East Coast. 


There’s so many new chapters and excitement in my life right now. I’m about to take off and I cannot wait to see what’s in store for me!  This year, I really want to be proactive in growing my brand for my blog and also through my TickTock, if you haven’t seen it it’s very embarrassing.  It’s kind of like the unsheltered side of me. It’s on my bio if you want to check it out.  


I just can’t wait to connect with you all because at the end of the day, this is why I started this website. I know in high school I wrote about, you know, how to get straight A’s and all this, and it makes me laugh because I went through college and  I wasn’t that girl who knew everything or even how to really navigate life.  I thought I did, but I’m here to tell you guys that it’s OK if you do not know what’s going on. You gotta take one day at a time even though that sounds so mundane and ridiculous, but trust me, life will work out the way it’s supposed to.  This is why I do this, I want to be that annoying little voice to let you know things will be alright!


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